Obituary of Patricia Redden

Pat is survived by her loving husband Gordon, three children: Wade, Bart (Laurie), and Niki(Jason) and their children Ali, Ashley, and Kyle. As well as her father Don Marlatt. PAT REDDEN TRIBUTE Pat would consider this large gathering today as part of the extended Redden family. Pat was all about family. And not only her own. She sincerely appreciated every opportunity to visit and reminisce with old friends and she made new friends easily, always interested in learning more about them and their families. Pat was so genuine with her interest with everyone she met. And you knew she was really listening because she could remember all of the details of your last conversation. Marilyn Mann said that Pat always had the thoughtfulness and energy to do the little extras to show a friend that she cared. One of the many impressions Pat’s daughter-in-law, Laurie, had of Pat was that she loved going to events, but she enjoyed the people more. It didn’t matter how lofty the person was, she always had time for you. Pat’s nature was gentle, relaxed, sincere. When you spent time with her, time really did seem to stand still for awhile. She provided a bit of calm no matter how hurried or hectic life might have been. Those that knew Pat realize that she would never want to be the focus of attention. Bart has said, “it was never about her, Mom didn’t think about herself, it was always about someone else.” And today, Pat would be wanting to comfort all of us . . . ensuring that we were okay. . letting us know that things were going to be alright. Well, the focus today is on Pat Redden and her life, a truly inspirational person who accomplished so much . . . her greatest accomplishment being the raising of her family with Gord. In a lifetime, it is a rare blessing to be able to get to know someone as warm, as generous, as respectful of life as Pat was. This was never more evident than when Pat was working as a nurse. She was dedicated to the care and well-being of every patient. She tended to the sick, the injured, expectant mothers, and those that were dying. Pat strongly believed that it was a privilege to help people into and out of this world. As proficient and professional as Pat was, it was her compassion for others that stood out. In a letter to Niki, Bart, and Wade, Jim and Val Baldwin vividly recall their experience at Lloydminster Hospital over 20 years ago at the impending birth of their first child. “We were a young couple in a strange town and we were filled with all the natural fears . . . then your mom came into the room . . . she had such a reassuring presence. We just knew everything was going to be okay.” As a colleague, Marilyn saw that Pat took great pride in being a nurse. She had so much confidence . . . she was never rattled. Pat respected the nursing profession deeply and all of the people associated with it. As a supervisor at the hospital Pat was responsible for overseeing many departments. She was organized, precise, and attentive to every detail, but it was her common, personal touch with patients and ability to comfort and console families that were cherished the most. Later in her career, Pat took on new challenges and began teaching nursing students from Grant MacEwan College. She thoroughly enjoyed sharing her general expertise and countless experiences. The energy and enthusiasm of her students were like breaths of fresh air. She made an indelible impression on each one of them. The theoretical knowledge that Pat taught was invaluable, but it was the practical common-sense approaches to nursing that the students appreciated more. A former student said of Pat, “You have provided guidance, support, knowledge (from break-ups to 3rd degree ‘butt’ burns), laughter, and inspiration . . . it is immeasurable . . . you are a mentor . . . a nurse . . . manna from heaven.” Another student relates, “we used to call her Momma Redden, we didn’t know, that she knew, that we called her that until one day she said, “ I know you call me Momma Redden, and I don’t mind.” Pat had a special ability to separate her professional career from family life. Knowing Pat, this would have been a very deliberate decision. She would not bring the stresses of shift work home to Gord and their family. She was protective of her family and burdening any of them about the pressures and complications of hospital life was the last thing she would have done. Pat was tremendously devoted to her work, but the main devotion was at home and she would not allow anything to interfere with this part of her world. Some of you have had the opportunity to see Pat’s baby book. It’s a wonderful keepsake for the family and it contains the usual information you might find in a book of this kind. It records that Pat was christened Patricia Eileen Marlatt and that she was born at 3.30 in the afternoon at Lashburn Hospital. One can also read comments in hand-written form by her mom, Enid, describing Pat as a baby. One description that stands out is a typical observation that an adoring mother and father would say about their little girl, “Pat seems to be cuter every day.” Little did Enid and Don know, that sixteen years later, someone named Gord Redden would be saying exactly the same thing about their grown-up daughter. About this time Gord was playing junior hockey in Lashburn and it didn’t take him all that long to notice Pat. Gord recalls, “I would hold hands with her in the hallway and she was smart, too.” For several years both Pat and Gord had personal ambitions to pursue -Gord had his hockey and Pat had her nursing education- but Gord was savvy enough and made sure Pat didn’t get away. All of us have heard the many clichés about relationships such as -‘they were meant for each other’ or ‘a match made in heaven’. And in this case, they were and it was. Whether by fate or chance, it didn’t really matter . . . Pat and Gord belonged with each other and they stayed together for over 34 full and rewarding years. The most precious part of those years was raising their family. Both Pat and Gord couldn’t help being active parents in their children’s lives. During the winter, Niki would be pirouetting on ice in the figure-skating outfit that her mom had sewn. Pat would watch as Gord taught Bart and Wade how to battle opponents for possession of a black disc. The cycle would continue during the summer. Niki would be fielding groundballs at short and attending various championships. Behind his catcher’s mask, Bart would be receiving pitches from brother Wade. Pat and Gord were always there. It didn’t take long for the brown 1979 Ford Econoline to soon rack up considerable mileage. Pat, the nurse, would arrange her shifts at work well in advance and when Pat, the mom, had all of the lunches packed, off they would go. It was a lifestyle that none of them would have traded for anything in this world. On some of those trips in the old van, Wade remembers that “Mom would make math questions for us. We would write answers and Mom would give us more.” If it was hockey, Gord would be coaching and if it was ball, Pat would be in the dugout meticulously keeping score. She never, ever missed a game. “Why would I,” she said. Pat loved everything about it. And at that time she wasn’t only Bart and Wade’s mom, she was everyone’s mom. All of the boys displayed the utmost respect for Pat. She never demanded it; she just got it because of the way she was with them. As with everything she did, Pat was patient, observant, knowledgeable, good-natured, and kind-hearted. Priorities of the family came first whether it was teaching the boys how to swim or sewing a graduation gown for Niki. As Niki, Bart, and Wade recall “if a birthday was going on we always had a big supper. If we were on the ball diamond, Mom would arrange for a birthday cake. Mom was always cooking a big meal, taking care of everyone. And if something was going wrong, we wanted to see Mom.” Growing up in the Tyrone District, west and south of Lashburn, Pat was familiar with the bustling life of a large family. With older brother Reg, younger sisters, Barb and Vicki, and younger brothers, Paul and Daryl, there was always something happening on the farm. Pat had the usual responsibilities associated with being the oldest daughter. She loved living in the country and this love followed her to the Redden farm. Pat took great pride in establishing a home on the farm. A warm place for Niki, Bart, and Wade to return to after school. A comfortable refuge for Gord after working on the land. As Gord put it, “Pat built our home, she provided for our home, she made it what it was.” And as we know in our community, the farming life can be a difficult one. During tough times, Pat was steadfast in her belief that the family had to remain positive and determined to see through to better times. Pat would haul grain, butcher chickens, take care of the vegetable and flower gardens, and much more. Niki, Bart, and Wade had their responsibilities, too. Mom’s infamous chore lists saw to that. The boys remember an awful lot of potato plants to be weeded and hilled. They politely suggested to Mom that it probably wasn’t necessary to have all those rows of potatoes. It goes without saying that many of us here today have tasted those Redden potatoes. Life at the farm wasn’t all about hard work. Both Pat and Gord understood the value of balance in their lives. Pat enjoyed her curling and more recently appreciated the challenges of golf. It was another great way to spend time together with friends and family and they could be found on various courses playing the game. Perhaps the greatest source of recreation for Pat was the swimming pool behind the house. Here Pat could be found in the water accompanied by Elvis in the background. Pat and Gord also loved to entertain friends and family at the farm. Pat was the ultimate hostess and a great cook. She had a wonderful sense of humour and effortlessly made everyone feel right at home. But these activities depended on what the rest of the family were doing. During hockey season, Wade had been away from home since the age of sixteen. Pat’s protective maternal instinct made it difficult to see her youngest move away from home. Being a Mom, Pat wanted Wade just a little closer and for a little longer. But she understood perfectly why he had to leave. Pat and Gord made regular trips, first to Brandon and then to Ottawa. She was a passionate fan. Pat loved the games, the people she met and, more importantly, she saw that Wade was doing fine. For Pat, he wasn’t Wade the hockey player, he was her son who happened to play hockey. Another source of excitement for Pat was the new additions to the Redden family. Pat and Gord welcomed Niki’s husband, Jason, into their lives. Soon grandchildren were arriving. First Ali, and then the twins, Ashley and Kyle. When Pat knew the grandchildren were on their way for a visit, she dropped everything. The grandkids would make a bee-line for Gram. Ashley’s favourite spot was Gram’s knee. Reading and telling stories, playing with play-doh, it really didn’t matter. Gram was in her glory. Once more, the importance of family was never made more clear. As devoted as Pat was to her nursing career, when the twins were born, she retired. Pat knew where she was needed. Jason was amazed at how a mother-in-law could be so helpful and involved and never, ever overbearing or interfering. It wasn’t long before the Reddens’ were going to gain another family member and this time it wasn’t another grandchild. Pat and Gord were soon traveling east again, but this time to Toronto for Laurie and Bart’s wedding. It was an occasion for sharing laughter and tears, and celebrating and getting to know Laurie’s family a little better. Gord could not have been more proud and everything that Pat had wanted for each of her children was now a reality for Bart -a life of love, happiness, and contentment; what she always had with Gord. Circumstances changed dramatically last year for the Redden family when Pat was diagnosed with cancer. She had surgery in Ottawa and a combination of chemotherapy and radiation was prescribed. Pat was always extremely close with her sisters, Barb and Vicki, and they along with Pat’s immediate family were there to be with and help care for her. She was then released from hospital and returned home. Over several months her health worsened and Pat was eventually provided palliative care at Lloydminster Hospital. Pat was very determined to get well after her surgery. She understood fully what she was up against and she conquered her fears and was never defeated. As a patient she was still the nurse and Pat was more concerned about how others were coping. Each night during her hospital stay Pat was cared for by a nursing colleague or former student. Every one had volunteered for the privilege of caring for Pat through the night. This was the truest testimony of how much Pat Redden was admired, loved, and respected. Pat had the rarest of abilities to make everyone feel important and valued. She was the rarest of people who stood with and cared for friends through their darkest days. She made her way through life’s obstacles as if they weren’t ever there. Pat Redden was a beautiful and courageous woman who was confident and secure in her belief that nothing was more important than love of family. Many times we looked to Pat for reassurance. We saw her and we knew we were safe, that we would be alright. The sparkle in her eye, her kind smile, her soft voice with comforting words told us that. Her vibrant and generous spirit remains and thrives with the family she cherished. Proud of her children’s accomplishments, Pat appreciated even more the strong and responsible individuals that they had become. Words to describe what Pat meant to her family are hard to come by. Wade said that “she was just Mom.” Nothing more is needed. As Bart put it, “Mom taught life lessons about battling tough times and getting on with life.” It would be easy and natural to lament about what has been lost or what could have been, but as Niki has said, “let’s remember what we had with Mom.” And yes, Ashley, Gram is in heaven, and we will help you take care of Grandpa. Donations in memory of Pat may be made to the Pat Redden Scholarship Fund at McCaw Funeral Service Ltd. An official tax receipt for the Pat Redden Scholarship fund will be issued at a later date. Card of Thanks The Redden Family would like to say thank you to everyone who sent cards, flowers and gifts. As well, a special thank you to all who contributed to the Pat Redden Scholarship Fund. Thank you again to Dr. Cavanagh and all of the third floor nursing staff at the Lloydminster Hospital for their exceptional care.