Obituary of Mervin Townsend

B I O G R A P H Y TOWNSEND: Mervin Frédrick Townsend passed away in the Lloydminster Hospital, Lloydminster, Saskatchewan on Sunday, February 11, 2007 at the age of 72 years. Mervin is lovingly remembered by his wife of 52 years, Marliss (nee Wright); children: Anne (Cliff) Rose, Lynne (Harvey) Scaddan both of Lloydminster, AB; Derrick Townsend of Vancouver, BC; grandchildren: Amy, Hayley and Reg Scaddan of Lloydminster, Kaely Mae Townsend of Vancouver, Suzanne Life of Edmonton, Kathy (Craig) Ible and Tina Scaddan of Edmonton; sisters: Audrey Faulkner of Eastern Passage, NS; Wilda (Ken) Tomalty of Cobden, ON; brother Ronald (Shirley) Townsend of Beaumont, AB; various nieces, nephews, relatives and many friends in Lloydminster, Mowery Beach and Hay River, NT. Mervin is predeceased by his mother and father, Thelma and Ross Townsend of Quebec, sisters Mary McCordic of Toronto, Gwen Boudreau of Fort Smith, NT, brothers Calvin Townsend of Quebec and Carl Townsend of Fort McMurray, AB; two sons: Donald Townsend in August of 1979 and Reg Townsend in February of 1981, both of Hay River, NT. The funeral service for Mervin was conducted from the Grace United Church, Lloydminster, Alberta on Friday, February 16, 2007 at 2:00 P.M. with Reverend Harold Martin officiating. A eulogy was given by Harvey Scaddan. Hymns sung were “In The Garden,” “One Day At A Time,” and “Amazing Grace,” accompanied on the organ by Irene Knowlson. The Grace United Church Choir was in attendance. Honorary Pallbearers were: Bev & Myrna Brandson, Keith Cummings, Lionel & Barb Legoffe, Glen & Anita Rourke, Bill & Rita Rowe, Terry & Jean Taylor, all his friends from Brightsand Lake and all those who shared in Merv’s life. Active pallbearers were: Jim Gray, John Holden, Robbie Jameson, David Lloyd, Roy Sidebottom and Ross Townsend. Interment will be held at a later date in the Hay River Cemetery. McCaw Funeral Service Ltd., of Lloydminster administered the funeral arrangements. Eulogy • Mervin Fredrick Townsend Born December 15, 1934 • Merv left us to meet his master February 11, 2007 • And at that meeting I know that both were satisfied • Today we have come to the end of a long and difficult road • Those of us who loved Merv traveled it with him as far as we could • Today our sadness is tempered with relief • Merv had immense courage and he faced his long and drawn out illness with dignity and grace • It didn’t change the person he was it just added to his stature • Merv’s pain is over and though we suffer at his going, his suffering’s are over • And we are glad that at long last he is at peace. • Death came to Mervin as a friend • The tapestry on Merv’s casket reads • Our family is a circle of strength and love • with every birth and every union the circle grows • every joy shared adds more love • Every crisis faced together makes the circle stronger • we are all here to remember Merv • and Merv would have been glad • Although he would hate to think he had missed a gathering of any kind • There’s a story written by an unknown author I’d like to share with you today. • It’s simply called the ship • I’m standing on a sea shore. • A ship at my side spreads her white sails to the morning breeze and starts for the ocean. • She is the object of beauty and strength, I stand and watch her • Until at length she is only a speck of white cloud just where the sea and the sky meet and mingle with each other. • Then someone at my side exclaims, “There She’s Gone” • Gone where? • Gone from my sight is all • she is just as large in hull and mast and spar as she was when she left my side, • and just as able to bear her load of living freight to the place of her destination • her diminished size is in me not in her • And just at the moment when someone say’s “There she’s gone,” • There are other eyes watching for her coming and other voices ready to take up the shout, “There, she comes!” • I see a man’s life like I do that ship. • I see all of us gathered here today to celebrate Merv’s life as the group on this shore saying “There he goes!” • But on the other shore are Merv’s sons Reg and Donald, his Mom and Dad Thelma and Ross • His very special mother-in-law Mae Wright • And many other friends and relatives, they are all shouting “here he comes.” • We are spirits. Our bodies are lent to us, • While they can afford us pleasure and assist us in acquiring knowledge. • Or in doing good to our fellow man, • That is a kind and benevolent act of God • When they become unfit for these purposes, and afford us pain instead of pleasure • and instead of an aid become an incumbrance, and answer none of the intentions for which they were given, • it is equally kind and benevolent, that a way is provided by which we may get rid of them. • Death is that way • Mervin and all of us are invited aboard on a party of pleasure, which is to last forever. • His chair was ready first and he had gone before us • We could not all conveniently start together • And why should you and I be grieved at this • Since we are soon to follow and know where to find him • Merv has left to mourn his passing, his devoted and beloved wife Marliss • His daughter Anne and her husband Cliff Rose • Cliff’s children Jeff, Greg, and Lorie • His daughter Lynne and her husband Harvey Scaddan • Their children Hayley, Reg, Amy, Kathy, and Kristina • His son Derrick and his daughter Kaely • His Granddaughter Suzanne Life • One Brother Ronald and wife Shirley • Two sisters Wilda and her husband Ken • His sister Audrey • And many other relatives and friends • Merv has touched an awful lot of lives over the years and that’s every apparent by the number of people here today. • It make our family proud that he was loved by such a wide variety of folks • We loved him and we are glad you loved him to • He’s left s all with so many memories, some we will cherish. • Some we won’t • Merv had a presence. • The moment he walked in the door the house came alive • Nobody could say he was the strong silent type • He was full of energy and life • And he brought those attributes into our lives. • Merv was a proud man and he loved his family deeply. • Not many of us would have thought of Merv as a teacher of any sort. • Yet Mervin in his dying taught us how to live. • His suffering taught us patience and acceptance. • Sometimes of course he grew angry with his suffering and that showed us his humanity • Injustice made him mad and inefficiency annoyed him • Merv was also a very generous man • He gave of himself quite freely and often • he thrived on competition and criticism too. • In many of our lives during times of trouble he was the first to come and the last to go. • Merv was a good neighbor and loyal friend. • He lived his life on his terms and through the years he fought some invisible enemies. • But with the support of most of you here and his loving family Merv was able to overcome all things and we are so thankful for that • Merv met Marliss his loving wife on a blind date when he was nineteen years old • This was the beginning of a love affair that was to last 52 years • Together they survived and endured many hardships • Floods, Fires • The loss of two sons • Donald in 1979 and Reg in 1981 • And finally the diagnosis of Merv’s cancer nine years ago. • Despite these lift altering events they built a wonderful life with each other and accumulated a wealth of friends and family along the way • They retired in Lloydminster 15 years ago to be nearer their daughters and grandchildren • About the time Merv was diagnosed he and Marliss were making plans to build a cabin at Brightsand Lake • They talked about putting their plans on hold but decided to go ahead • We are so thankful that they did because the enjoyment and pleasure they drew from their little paradise would be hard to match • Merv would often jokingly say Marliss is so lucky she married me • I know he’s looking down today thinking just how backwards that really was • The devoted care and loving management of Mervin’s illness was something to behold. • Had it not been for Marliss we would have lost Merv some time ago and we all thank you Marliss from the bottom of our hearts for your gift of time • Merv had wanted to be home as long as possible and Marliss often prayed that he would pass away peacefully in his sleep. • After only 29 hours in the Hospital and Marliss at his side Merv did pass away very peacefully in his sleep. • I guess their prayers were answered • Anne bought a book for her Dad back in December 2006 • It’s called Hug’s for Dad • I’ve read this book many times and at some point it hit me there were things in there that she wanted her Dad to know • I think this was one of those things • There’s something in a man that makes hum want to be a history maker - a hero. Most men grow up with grand ideas of accomplishing great things. They hold visions of rescuing lives threatened by fire, winning Major battles in war, influencing the law of the land through public office, defending the underdog in a court case, or finding a cure for cancer • They have a hungry ambition to be a hero who shares the future • Well Dad that’s just what you are. Your heroics may not be recorded in a best selling novel, a classic movie, or the cover of a magazine, but your actions are recorded frequently in the hearts and minds of your children. • They record your simple, but heroic deeds every day. • Your are a history-maker and a future shaper of the most important kind • You live on the front pages of the hearts of those you loved the most. • You have earned what most men truly desire • The love and respect of your children • Anne was such a lite in her dad’s life and this was fitting being she was with Merv during some of his darkest days. • We are so fortunate that she was willing and able to spend so much time with Merv these last three years • Her mother could not have done as much as she was able to • Had it not been for Anne’s loving help and support • Lynne as long as I can remember signed cards to her Dad and wrote on his luminary bags at the Relay for Life • Keep on trucking Pop’s • I know she takes tremendous comfort in knowing as Carrie Underwood put it that Jesus has taken the wheel • She will also take comfort in knowing what a special bond Merv made with each and every one of his grandchildren • Lynne will always cherish the time she spent with her Dad during her pregnancy with Reg and Hayley • She had to be close to the Hospital then and spent six weeks with Merv and Marliss • The many long walks to get Ice-cream and the talks along the way will never be forgotten • Lynne always had two gifts for her Dad at Christmas one normal and one gag gift • We all looked forward to him opening these gag gifts, • Cameras were always posed to record his reactions • Merv got so many laughs over these • The Hamster, the Wind Chimes made from Gram’s old forks, the Big Stuffed Toy of Grumpy are just to name a few • I think Lynne will now adopt Cliff for these special gifts at Christmas • I spoke with Mervin’s son Derrick the other day and he said • Dad has without a doubt gone the full fifteen rounds in his fight with this horrible disease • If this was a game of hockey that he so dearly loved to watch • The overtime periods he endured surely will go down in history • Fathers and sons are funny people I know this because of my dad and watching Derrick and Merv for so many years • Dads are so proud of their sons and sons so proud of their Dads. • They have such respect for each other and love each other so much • Sadly though they tell everyone they know this • But rarely do they tell each other • Derrick was home for Christmas this year and in a private moment with his Dad he told him he loved him and he said goodbye knowing he wouldn’t be back to watch one more hour of what Merv was going through • I know a weight lifted from both their shoulders that day • And it makes me happy that they would both get some closure in being able to be emotionally expressive with each other for the first time in many years • You can’t choose your family • The family you are born into is the outcome of some cosmic lottery • And for the most part the odds aren’t that great • Fortunately Cliff and I hit the jackpot • To have in-laws the likes of Merv and Marliss is indeed a rare thing • We are both proud to be a part of such a wonderful group of people • Why even the Aunties and Uncles we’ve acquired aren’t half bad • Cliff and Merv loved to bet on the outcome of just about anything • And the odd crib game here and there • Cliff’s billfold will be thicker now that Merv has passed • But I know Cliff would rather be handing Merv a hundred bucks today as he most often times had to • If Merv spoke to Cliff today • He would tell him you are now in charge of my TV remote • Look after my daughter and you were a great friend to me • I myself have known Mervin for 29 years and will always remember his humor • He’d tell me how he used to tell his father-in-law Don Wright • Mervin Fredrick Townsend M.F.T. stands for Mighty Fine Tobacco • Don was always sure it stood for More Friggin Trouble • I don’t know how many times I heard someone say would you like a drink Merv and he would remove his hat and tell them • Well I never came for a haircut • I count myself lucky to have rubbed shoulders with him • Merv loved his grandchildren • And often said you know you are rich if children run into your open arms • I guess he was a wealthy man • Hayley will remember riding to the lake with him and he’d sing a Kenny Rogers tune “The Gambler” to her over and over • Although she loved this she will remember Kenny as the better singer • Amy will remember along with Hayley and Reg the Regular Tuesday suppers at Joey’s only and Grandpa trying to convince them the name was only Joey’s • Amy will also cherish the short time in her life that she was the only grandchild around and commanded all of Merv’s attention • Reg will take comfort in knowing how much he reminded Merv of his two sons Reg and Donald • Kathy and Kristina will always know they had their first commercial airline flight with Grandpa • Kaely through us will always know how she put a twinkle in Merv’s eye every time she entered the room • Marliss and the family would like to thank Dr. Isaac Thomas, Dr. Sicyly, Dr. Kerlis, Home Care, and Peggy who became a very special friend to our family. • As I said earlier there are so many memories please join us at the Legacy Centre and share some you have with us • In closing Merv was known for one more thing and that was he truly loved when at all possible he got the last word • So in order to humor him today I think he would have left us with something like this • You can shed tears that I am gone • or you can smile because I lived • You can close your eyes and pray that I will come back • Or you can open your eyes and see what I have left • Your heart can be empty because you can not see me ... • Or your heart can be full of the love we shared • You can turn your back on Tomorrow and live yesterday • Or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday • You can remember me and only that I’m gone, • Or you can cherish my memory and let me live on • You can cry and close your mind be empty and turn your back • Or you can do what I’d want: • Smile, Open your eyes, love and go on • Thank you and God Bless You all In lieu of flowers donations in memory of Mervin may be made to the Canadian Cancer Society for Head and Neck Cancer Research. Card of Thanks The family of the late Mervin Townsend would like to thank Dr. Isaac Thomas and Dr. Tom Kerlis, the staff of the Lloydminster Hospital, all the Home Care girls who came weekly to help care for Merv. Also Dr. Hadi Seikaly and Peggy Nesbitt and the staff at the U of A Hospital in Edmonton for all the special care given to Merv over the past nine years. To the people who sent cards, for phone calls and visits, for the beautiful flowers, the donations received for the Cancer Society for Head and Neck Research, thanks to the United Church Women for the wonderful lunch at the Legacy Centre, to friends and neighbors who brought food to our home. Our most sincere thanks to McCaw Funeral Service Ltd., Dale and Glenn McCaw and staff for your kindness and sympathy which was so appreciated. Marliss Townsend Anne & Cliff Rose Lynne & Harvey Scaddan & Family Derrick and Kaely Townsend