Obituary of Karen Sexsmith

B I O G R A P H Y SEXSMITH: Karen Anne Sexsmith passed away suddenly on Friday, June 1, 2007 at the age of 52 years. Karen is survived by: her loving husband Dave of Lloydminster; her children: Jodie (Kelly) Russell of Canmore, Jeremy Sexsmith also of Canmore; her brothers: Gerry (Laurie) Scott and their children: Jordan and Karma-Rae; Rob (Fern) Scott and their children: Kyle, Johnathon and Danielle; her sisters: Susan (Rick) Burnett and their children: Kelliane and Brenna; Tina (Dale) Kostuik and their children; Michael, Lauren and Jessica; her mother Marion and step-father John Finlay; her step-brother Dean (Lynda) Mari and their children Aden, Dylan and Dane and her step-mother Dee Scott as well as numerous other relatives and friends. The funeral service for Karen was conducted from the Stockade Convention Centre, Lloydminster, Saskatchewan on Wednesday, June 6, 2007 at 2:00 P.M. with Pastor Anne Laird officiating. A eulogy was given by Heather Williamson. Grace United Church Choir sang “On Eagle’s Wings.” The hymn sung was “I, The Lord of Sea & Sky,” accompanied on the organ by Irene Knowlson. Honorary pallbearers were all her nieces, nephews, great nieces and great nephews. Active pallbearers were: Chris MacKay, Jordan Scott, Kyle Scott, Michael Kostuik, Regan Bexson, Dean Sexsmith, Jason Sexsmith and Jeff Sexsmith. Interment followed in the Lloydminster City Cemetery. McCaw Funeral Service Ltd., of Lloydminster administered the funeral arrangements. Hello everyone. My name is Heather Williamson. I am one of Karen’s many friends. I am honoured today to speak about a wonderful person and a precious friend. I have known Karen for a long time. I taught both of Karen’s and Dave’s kids. Karen was a parent volunteer in my classroom at Barr Colony School. Then, later on, Karen and I worked together at Rendell Park School. We did so for 13 years. At school, Karen and I worked to a day plan. Every day, day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year, we followed the day plan. Karen was a wonderful person to work with. We were each others’ right arm. We worked so well together. As the saying goes, the left hand knew what the right hand was doing. And we enjoyed working with each other. You would think that we would go our separate ways after a day at school. But no, as friends, we socialized together, we shopped together, and we travelled together. We renovated a house together, the four of us. What fun we had working. At school, each Mother’s Day, we made hand plaques to give to the students mothers. We made these out of plaster. Because I am retiring this year I said to Karen, “This is the last time we will get plastered together.” Little did I know. Karen is pre-deceased by Dave’s sister, Sharon, in 1977, Dave’s brother, Bob, in 2003, Dave’s father, John, in 2005, and her father, Bob, in 2005. Karen was born on November 26, 1954, in Stettler Alberta, to Bob and Marian Scott. She was the oldest of five children, all born in different towns. Her brothers and sisters are Rob, Gerry, Susan, and Tina. Karen’s Dad worked for Alberta Power. They had many moves, 27 in total, in 3 years. They lived in an 18 foot trailer until their third child, Gerry was born. There was just no more room so they purchased and moved into a 42 foot trailer The Scott family finally settled in Lloydminster in 1962. In her earlier childhood years, Karen had a nickname. This nickname was acquired because Uncle Tom, from the east, could not pronounce Karen as we do. He pronounced Karen, as Caren. Uncle Tom got tired of people making fun of him, so to avoid more hassle, he called her Bootie, after the neighbourhood cat. The name stuck and Karen was called Bootie by her family members and friends, for years. Karen attended most of her school years in Lloydminster. She made a huge impression on the teachers at the Lloydminster Comprehensive High School. Tina was asked, “Are you really Karen’s sister?” And when Jodie got there, it was pretty much the same thing, “Are you Karen Sexsmith’s daughter?” It was at the Lloydminster Comprehensive High School where Karen first met David Sexsmith, in grade 10, 1969. As the story goes, Cupid struck, and struck hard. Karen and David became girlfriend and boyfriend. The high school years flew by, filled with school, sports, parties, good times, and dating. Tina loved to be around Karen, her older sister. Dave played with the Lloydminster Junior B Border Blazers. Karen was dating Dave, the hockey player. Because Dave was Karen’s boyfriend, Tina got to go to the games. And she knew the players. And she waved at the players and yelled “Go Sexy”. Much to Tina’s pleasure, Tina was the envy of her friends. After high school, Karen attended the University of Alberta, obtaining her Bachelor of Arts with a major in Sociology and a minor in Psychology. Karen’s and David’s relationship continued. After awhile, Karen became more involved with another family, the Sexsmiths. When first travelling with Dave‘s family, Karen was amazed with how many Sexsmiths that could be packed into one car. Karen and David were married June 21, 1975. Reverend Quigley said to Dave, after the wedding, “You picked a hell of a day to get married. Sure it is the first day of summer, the longest day of the year, but it is the shortest night!” Karen and David have two children. Daughter Jodie was born on October 8 , 1977. Son Jeremy was born on April 21, 1980. Karen and Dave lived and worked in Lloydminster. Karen worked for the Bea Fisher Centre, as a house mother, for four years. Karen and Dave started building their cabin at Loon Lake in 1978. This project was the beginning of many. In 1980 they built their first house when she was pregnant with Jeremy. That is why they said that Jeremy was born with a hammer in his hand. They enjoyed Lloydminster, but then Dave got a transfer with Alberta Power to Fairview, Alberta, in 1987. And so the moves began. They moved to Grande Centre in 1990, for 13 months, and then back to Fairview again, in 1991. In transition, with Dave working, Karen and Jodie and Jeremy lived at Loon Lake during the summer holidays. While up north, Karen had a variety of teaching assignments. In 1993, the family returned to Lloydminster, where they transplanted their roots, so to speak, in the same neighbourhood as the first house that they built. Over the years, Karen kept in touch with the people that they moved away from. She would not forget a friend. Karen’s family shared many lake stories. Karen loved the lake. The Scotts’ got their first cabin in 1967. It was a real family cabin. Later, this cabin was torn down, and Marian built a new cabin. Karen and Dave were a tremendous help in building the new cabin. Karen loved the water fights that would happen on many occasions. She was often the instigator. These became known as the Ultimate Water Fights. There was only one rule, and that was safety could be found inside the cabin’s front door, usually. Karen loved to swim. Karen and Judy Webb and Patti Webb had an annual swim in which they swam to the point and back. The two Dads, Bob Scott and John Webb each followed them in their boats just in case someone needed to stop, or rest, or quit. But noone ever did. They made it each year. Bob and John wanted to be there to protect the girls. But also, Bob and John would take Karen and Judy out on John’s sailboat, for a nice sail, so they said.. They then dumped them out of the boat in the middle of the lake! Karen and David also had their annual ski which had them ski together from the beach to the other end of the lake, and back. Karen and David, and the kids, and whoever else was in the cabin, would, on a star filled night, suddenly decide to do a midnight swim. They would line up on the beach, holding hands, and run towards the water, then jumping in. Jodie called this the Nightmare Swim. This was followed by hot chocolate and popcorn. Tina remembers the inner tube rides. What fun they had! Laughing or screaming, depending on the ride. You could hear Karen half way across the lake. Sometimes 10 of them would stand up on the inner tube to see who would fall off first. Karen often was the last to fall. In the winter, Karen cross country skied with the family. She packed a snack and filled the wine skin with juice so that all could enjoy a break later down the trail. Karen packed a snack wherever they went, even for the short trips. The staples were cheezies and twizzlers. The cabin was the hub of a nest of activity. Another lake story is that one night, after a nice summer day, the car was once again packed full of people on their way from Loon Lake to Jumbo for ice cream cones. Dave’s brother, John, was driving. Karen was in the back seat, nursing Jeremy. John hit a pot hole causing the car to bounce. Karen yelled from the back, “Johnny watch out, I just about lost a nipple!” Among others, Tina will miss having Karen at the lake. She said that she has lost a card playing partner, a tubing partner, and a golf partner. Karen had a dynamic personality. She made a lasting impression on everybody. When Karen and Dave followed Jodie‘s activities or Jeremy‘s activities, the kids called Karen Mrs. Sexsmith. She was very well respected. The kids’ close friends called her Mom, or Mrs. Sexy. Karen was always seen with her two bags, one filled with snacks, the other carrying the cow bells. Karen will always be remembered ringing those cow bells at the games. She rang them so much over the years that they had to be refurbished, and new handles put on them. Karen had a great sense of humour. She loved to laugh, and laugh, and laugh. Karen’s laugh was infectious. We can still hear her laughing. As Dave described, Karen laughed from her heels to the top of her head. We will always remember her smile too. As Jodie said, after one or two glasses of wine, it was a perma smile. Karen was always doing something for someone. She was such a capable and caring person. Many a Baron’s football player were thankful for the Baron hand warmers that Karen made, in the school colours. She made handmade gifts and cards. She gave just the special personal gift made with effort, thoughtfulness, and love. As Jodie said, Mom had the innate ability to do anything well, but she always went further than that, going the extra mile to make sure it was better than good. She loved not only her kids, but her nieces, nephews, grand nieces and grand nephews. Karen never forgot a birthday, a grad, or any special event. She was so thoughtful. Karen did all she could to help out John and Marian and John and Jean. She loved them a lot. Karen loved all of the Sexsmiths and all of the Scotts and she made everyone feel special. Any newcomer to the family was welcomed. Kelly, Jodie’s husband, was welcomed into the family with open arms. Heather Sexsmith was another one of these newcomers. Heather is very appreciative and thankful for Karen’s help, support, and encouragement with Weight Watchers as well as family gatherings. These family gatherings were a huge part of Karen’s life. Karen enjoyed great times with all of her relatives. Her brother-in-law, Bill, loved kibitzing with Karen. But Bill could not get Karen’s goat. Karen was witty and sharp, as we all know. Karen loved Christmas. She would start getting ready for Christmas early in November. She would bake, and bake. She made everybody’s favourite food. She would make 3 kinds of butter horns, many kinds of tarts, slices, perogies, and cinnamon buns. Her goal was to make cinnamon buns as good as her mother-in-law, Jean. And Jean confesses, that yes, she did make them every bit as good. Karen loved to decorate for Christmas. As Jeremy said, she decorated 2 places. She decorated home, and she decorated the cabin at the lake. Karen and Tina had a yearly Christmas tradition. Karen gave Tina a Santa, and Tina gave Karen an angel. Karen treasured her collection of angels. Karen loved her home, all of her homes. She was a tremendous house keeper and decorator. Her home was like out of a magazine…perfect. And her yard too. She was thrilled each spring when the plants came alive, and grew. Her yard was as neat as her house. Karen made each house, a home. Karen always welcomed guests and she treated them all like family. Karen is well known for her cooking. Her mother, Marian, said that she didn’t just make a meal. She made a feast. Marian’s husband, John, loved to go there for supper. Who didn’t? Karen loved to do her crafts. She was a very creative and talented lady. She could knit, sew, quilt, cross stitch, scrap book, and make cards. Her family members and friends will cherish her home made and personalized gifts, forever. But, not everything can be passed on. Karen gave up on Jodie when teaching her how to sew. Apparently Karen was not good at everything. One morning, Karen and Jodie and Heather Sexsmith set out to Rolling Greens for a round of golf. They started at 8:00, quit keeping score after 2 holes, lost many balls, and quit after only 6 holes, at 11:00. But they had lots of fun and laughs. Karen invented the word multitask. Dave said that she would have 16 things on the go at one time. The odd time it backfired, like the time she put something on the stove, then went downstairs to visit David, and a while later they heard the talking fire alarm repeating fire, fire, fire. When they got upstairs the microwave above the stove was in flames. But she sure did multitask. She loved to burn her candles and listen to music as she putzed around the house. Jeremy sometimes called his Mom The La La Lady, because so much was going on in her head and she would from time to time just stand and stare, thinking. If her hands were not busy, her mind was. Her niece, Jennifer, remembers Karen humming while she worked. Karen made work enjoyable. Karen loved to travel. She liked her summer and fall trips to Arborfield to visit Dave’s brother John, his wife Bev and their 3 boys. She especially enjoyed harvesting the vegetables from the garden there. She loved garden vegetables. Tina and Dale spoke of the trip to Craven, in the motor home, as being a lot of fun. It was a lot of fun even before they even got there. But, enough said about that. Karen loved the warm and sandy parts of the world. Karen and Dave spent many enjoyable times in Mexico and Cuba on different occasions. What a wonderful thing that Karen and Dave, Jodie and Kelly, and Jeremy and Krista spent a week in Mexico recently this past winter. They will cherish these memories forever. Karen and Dave were already planning their next trip, a cruise. Karen took her camera just about everywhere. She treasured all of the special moments in life, so she took photos. When she did not have her camera with her it was because David forgot it. Karen also had everything in her purse that anyone could possibly need. She had nail clippers, Advil, Tylenol, Kleenex, gum. And not just any kind of gum. It had to be Cinnamon Dentyne. Karen was also the queen of list making. She had lists for everything. She had the grocery list for home, the grocery list for the lake, the to-do list for home, the to-do list for the lake, the to-do list for David. She was one organized lady. Karen loved her sales, her air miles, and her Entertainment coupon book. She was a terrific bargain finder, whether it be at a store or at a garage sale. Karen could sniff out a deal. She was thrifty and we could learn lots from her ways. She would not waste a thing. One day, just before rushing off somewhere with Jeremy, Karen was having a glass of wine. Jeremy, ready to go, yelled, “Come on Mom. It’s time to go!” So, not quite being finished the wine, Karen poured the wine into a thermo cup and away they went. In the confines of the vehicle, with Jeremy driving, he smelled something and asked “What’s that smell. Are you drinking wine Mom? If we get stopped by the cops I’m telling them that I am taking you to AA.” Karen was always game for anything. She never said no to anybody, even if she was tired or had a million things to do. She did not want to hurt anybody’s feelings or miss out on a good time. Karen loved the students at school, and the students loved her. She was kind to them. One student, currently in grade 6, remembers how scared he was the first day of Kindergarten. “Mrs. Sexsmith took me by my hand and took away my fears”. She has touched many students at Rendell Park School. They are grieving too. The feeling from the staff at Rendell Park School have been expressed in the following words, by Mary Hayes. Karen, like a fertile seed, took plant in our hearts and in our minds. She began to blossom when she reached out and enveloped all of us with her smile, her love, and most of all, her gift of laughter. Karen lives in all of us. And to live in the hearts we leave behind is not to die but to live forever. Her buddies, Melody Trachuk and Linda Wagner, thank Karen for the laugh lines, the wrinkles you don’t mind getting, from a good friend. The students had fun too. And Karen had fun with them. We always had something to laugh about. One funny thing is when one Kindergarten student would get Mrs. Nickless and Mrs. Sexsmith confused. Robyn became Mrs. Nicksmith, and Karen became Mrs. Sexless. Karen worked hard, at school, and at home. Her and Dave built many houses together. They shared the work and worked very well together. Each knew what the other was thinking and what needed to be done next. And, it got done. Karen and David were on the same wave length. Karen was never just a wife to Dave. She was his best friend. Their relationship was the envy of many. Never a stronger bond has there ever been. They could be seen going for walks together, or sitting on the deck together. They were content being alone with each other. They enjoyed each other’s company and love. Throughout their marriage, Karen and Dave had their own day plan. As a result, they raised a family, had careers, had many friends, and continued to be close to all family. They were successful in so many ways. In the past few years, they extended their day plan to a long range plan. They were so looking forward to the retirement years. Time with family and friends, the freedom to do as they pleased, go where they pleased and when they pleased. These became the dreams that they shared. Travel, do, go, have fun. Oh, what plans they had. On Friday, June 1, 2007, Karen had planned to go on the annual medical trip to Edmonton with her friends Elaine Olynyk and Judy Walsh. After the three of them were done with their appointments, they were to, as usual, go to Tony Roma’s for lunch, and do some shopping at Londonderry Mall. After David’s sad phone call to Elaine, Elaine and Judy went without Karen, as Karen would have wished. God too has a day plan. On June 1, 2007, for whatever reason, God chose to take Karen away from us. We do not understand why. We can only speculate that in our knowing Karen, and with our faith in God, that God’s plan included Karen and that Karen, in some way, has a new purpose to help, guide, benefit, in some other place, in some other way. As one of our students said when we were sharing our feelings about Mrs. Sexsmith, “The Angels came to pick her up.” Karen loved angels. Karen is our angel. Jodie and Jeremy. Your Mom was so proud of you. As a mother does, she talked affectionately about you. She loved you very, very much. David. The sun rose and set on you. You were the very centre of her world. You know, David, that Karen loved you so very much, and how much you loved Karen. To the family, we are so sorry. Our hearts pour out to you. Karen, you will be forever missed. We love you, Karen. Card of Thanks The family of Karen wish to sincerely express thanks to all those who were there in our time of need ... To Murray & Janine Chamberlain for their compassion and help on Friday morning. Special thanks to the Clothing Club Gang & everyone at Rendell Park School for the meals brought over and all their love and support. Your caring generosity was appreciated more than you will ever know. Special thanks to Dale & Heather Williamson for their never ending support, love and coffee morning chats. Heather the eulogy you gave for Karen was wonderful; words can not express enough thanks for honoring her in such a way. Thanks to everyone who sent flowers, food, cards, donations and for all your prayers, love and support. Sincere thanks to all the extended family for their unreal love, support and help during what is truly a sad time for all. Thanks to Pastor Anne Laird for a beautiful service, Organist Irene Knowlson and the Grace United Church Choir for music and song. Thanks to Pallbearers Jordan Scott, Kyle Scott, Michael Kostuik, Chris MacKay, Dean Sexsmith, Jeff Sexsmith, Jason Sexsmith and Regan Bexson. Thanks to Dale McCaw & McCaw Funeral Service Ltd., for helping us through what is a very difficult and sorrowful time. Thanks to all the staff at the Stockade Convention Center for the setup of the facility and the great lunch. Thanks to everyone who phoned and for your visits. They will never be forgotten and meant a great deal. TO LIVE IN THE HEARTS WE LEAVE BEHIND IS NOT TO DIE BUT TO LIVE FOREVER Dave Sexsmith Jodie (Kelly) Russell Jeremy Sexsmith Donations in memory of Karen may be made to the Karen Sexsmith Memorial Fund.