Obituary of Barbara Delemont

DELEMONT ~ Barbara Joan Delemont passed away in Lloydminster, Alberta on Sunday, May 18, 2014 at the age of 58 years. Barb leaves to mourn her passing: her mother, Elizabeth Neil; two children: Sharla (Brook) Mishna and Shane Delemont; two grandchildren: Brayden and Brenna Mishna; recently reunited siblings: Valerie (Mark) Edbom, Jackie (Neil) Boser, Patty (Gary) Fahl, Murry (Sue) McCaffrey, Larry (Sandra) McCaffrey, Jodi (Jack) Kerr and numerous nieces and nephews. Barb was predeceased by her brother, Murray J. Neil in May 1980; and father, James A. Neil in June 2012. The Memorial Service for Barb was conducted from McCaw Funeral Chapel, Lloydminster, Alberta on Friday, May 23, 2014 at 2:00 P.M. with Reverend Charlie McNeil officiating. Brook Mishna gave the eulogy. The hymn sung was "Amazing Grace" accompanied by organist Irene Knowlson. Special CD Music, "Dust In The Wind" and "I Will Remember You" were played during the service. The reception was held in the Knox Presbyterian Andrew Walker Wing, Lloydminster, Alberta. Interment followed in the Chauvin Cemetery, Chauvin, Alberta. Donations in memory of Barb may be made to the Heart & Stroke Foundation. McCaw Funeral Service Ltd., of Lloydminster, Alberta administered the funeral arrangements. CARD OF THANKS The family of the late Barbara Delemont wishes to acknowledge with deep appreciation the many expressions of love, kindness and support shown to them during this time of bereavement. Thank you for keeping us in your thoughts. EULOGY - written by Sharla Mishna and read by Brook Mishna It is so difficult to sum up the life of a loved one. Mom (Barb) was a wonderful and loving mother, daughter, grandmother, sister and friend. While she did struggle in health in her last few years on this earth there were so many blessed moments during that time as well. We choose the remember the good times over the last few years as well as her fondest memories growing up, and we will share that with you here today. Many of you will know that mom was fortunate enough to be re-united with her biological family about 15 years ago. You may have heard the story from Grandma Neil or from Barb herself. It is a story full of joy and many of those new family members are here with us right now. I want to start with this story, as we are lucky enough to be able to hear a summary of mom's life in a letter she wrote to her biological mother Donna back in 1998. I will share with you now some of her own words about her childhood on the farm, her interests and hobbies, and her fondest memories. Here is what she wrote: "I was chosen and placed in a Chauvin home by my adoptive parents in April 1956. My parents wanted another child to be company for their little boy, Murray, who was placed in the home in 1953. Murray and I were always close. We played together, stayed together, and got in trouble together. I'm afraid we did give our parents our very best (of good behaviour and our worst) and a bit of grief too. We both took music lessons for several years, Murray started on the piano then the accordion. He had a great ear for music, but I always struggled with the piano. I look back now into my first and last music books and can't believe I actually played those notes. My brother and I were always involved with animals. We had lots of cats on the farm, and we were never without a family dog. When we were old enough we joined the local 4-H beef club and quite a few times one of us would take home Grand Champion in the competition. My dad was noted for his Agriculture knowledge, farming skills and cattle sense and we learned a lot from him. We also enjoyed swimming and I was involved in Brownies and girl guides too. On the farm we always had horses and there was never a week that went by that we didn't go riding. Sometimes for fun and sometimes to help dad move cattle. We would also go skating in the winter on the frozen ponds to pass the time, as well as curling. Playing ball was another pastime, and dad would always pack up his lawn chair and come to every game. He was known for sitting right behind the back stop, and he continued this interest after he moved to Lloyd where he would watch Shane and Sharla play their games too. Other hobbies on the farm were motorbikes and skidoos, which often got us into trouble. Mom and dad would find us lots of chores to do around the farm to keep us out of trouble and sometimes for punishment if we were misbehaving. I often helped mom with the inside house work. She started me out ironing - i had to iron the sheets, pillow cases, tea towels and even the underwear, like really?! I learned to cook and bake from my mom (who made really great pies). I guess this is why I was a bit of a butterball until after Sharla was born! I had many odd jobs over the years including a gas jockey, working in a restaurant, town office, at Dillberry Lake, and so on. I also attended first year of nursing school and then went to Reeves Business College. In 1975 I left the nest and got married to Michel. We had bought a mobile home and then in then in 1977 my parents asked us to move out to the farm, as they were moving to Lloydminster. After we took over the farm, I would help with the farm and house work, and mom and dad still come down quite often to help as well. In 1978 I gave birth to a handsome son, Shane. Then in 1980 my beautiful daughter Sharla was born. Shane was my brother Murray's pride and joy, he had a little buddy! Murray came to the hospital when Sharla was born then one more time for a visit at the house. Only 2 weeks after Sharla was born we received the news that Murray had passed away in a motorcycle accident. His call was much too early for all of us. It was hard to believe that my brother and my best friend was now at rest and enjoying life somewhere in the beyond without me and the rest of his family. As I was growing up I thought quite a few times about being adopted but never talked about it much or asked questions. After Murray's passing I really started to think about looking into my adoption. Life got busy with children and the farm. I took some courses and kept busy with cake decorating, teaching aerobics, floral design, barbering and so on. Shane also decided to try out his barbering skills on his sister at an early age by chopping all her hair off! In 1989 my husband and I separated, and we moved to Lloydminster. The farm was sold. Adjusting at first was difficult, but as time went by we looked ahead. We worked at this together and my children were now my best friends. The kids started school in Lloyd and I did a variety of jobs such as sales, landscaping, bartending and so on. Mom and dad would help look after the kids if I was working out of town, and they would often go there for lunch on school days too. I did not enjoy going to work anymore, so instead I spent time at home with my kids, the yard and the garden. In 1996 Shane graduated and when to Nait in Edmonton. We missed him dearly, but he would come home on weekends for food and money. In 1998 Sharla graduated and moved to Edmonton to attend UofA business school. All through school both kids have done very well and I am very proud of their achievements. Just as Murray and I were best friends, Shane and Sharla are also. As a mom I can say they are the best a mother could ever wish for and more. I am very proud and loved them dearly. As I write this letter it is Christmas day 1998. Mom and dad and the kids were here for supper and a gift exchange. It has been a busy year and we have a lot to be thankful for. Mom was in a very serious accident and spent February to May up in Edmonton recovering. She has recovered and it is through god's will that she is still with us. Her faith has carried her along with the love and commitment of dad and the family, and we are so blessed to be together today." Mom (Barb) goes on to say that it was on this Christmas day that she, with the help of Shane and Sharla, announced to James and Elizabeth that she was able to track down her biological family on her mother's side, and she had discovered her mother was still alive and she had 3 siblings. Mom said she felt like she was going to burst with the news. When she told grandma and grandpa their hearts were filled with joy for her. Mom wrote that she had been nervous to tell them, for she didn't want them to feel like she was not happy, and she would never want to replace them. At the end of the evening after hearing the news, as Grandma was heading out the door, she turned to mom and she wished her the best of luck in the reunion, that they looked and sounded like a very lovely family. Mom wrote that "it was grandma's way of saying it's alright Barbara, we love you and want you to be happy." And she went on to say that grandma and grandpa have been great, kind, loving parents and she was very lucky to be one of their chosen children. Mom was able to meet her mother Donna and the 3 siblings shortly after. The following year, with the help of Donna and the support of her family, mom was also able to contact her biological father (John). She discovered she had another 3 siblings on that side, and now her family has grown so large! She never dreamed of this happy ending to her questions about her adoption, and was so pleased to see a lot of her 6 siblings and her biological parents over recent years. Her 2 biological parents have since passed away, but she has stayed in contact with the rest of the family over the last 15 years. And now on to the most recent years.... Mom has been a wonderful daughter to James and Elizabeth. While she may have caused them some stress in the earlier years getting into trouble on the farm, in the recent years she took such good care of them. She spent a lot of time visiting them and taking grandpa for drives, and has taken great care of Grandma over the last 2 years. Grandma sure appreciated talking to her on the phone almost every day just to check in and her regular visits to drop off Kleenex or just to stop by and say hi. Mom would often decorate their suite or room with her flower arrangements and bring by baking for them. Grandma always says how talented mom was and she was so handy, creative and bright. She will miss mom and their visits dearly. The greatest joy in my mother's life over the last few years was being a grandmother to her two grandchildren Brayden (5) and Brenna (2). She was always pestering me to have more kids and for Shane to "get on it already", so that she had even more grandchildren to spread her love to. She loved to bake muffins and cookies for them, would spoil them with sweet treats right before bed and was always shopping for new outfits for them. When we came to visit grandma the kids knew there was always a tub full of toys and markers and coloring books to keep them entertained. They always enjoyed their time at Grandma Barb's and thankfully we spent lots of holidays and birthdays with her to remember her by. When mom would come to Edmonton for a visit she would often stay 1-2 weeks so that she could spend time with the kids and enjoy the backyard. Mom was always so handy and helpful around the house and while we were away at work she would fix the little things that were broken and move things around so they were just right. Sometimes she would drive us crazy with her little projects around the house, but I know they would have never been completed without her help. We shared so many coffees out on the deck and Brook and i always made sure we had baileys on hand for her visits. The house would often get crowded because when mom came usually Shane came too. She would love to hear what we were all up to... she would question Shane about work and life in Grande Prairie and if he had a chance to get out and use the boat and trailer, and was he going golfing much. She was always willing to look after the kids while we were at work or if we needed a night out. I regret we didn't live closer in these last few years so that she could have spent even more time with us and the kids. I know they brought her so much joy. We were fortunate to see her just a few weeks ago at easter here in Lloyd, and then she came back up to Edmonton and stayed with us for another week. The very last time Shane and I both spoke to our mom was on Mother's day. So we can say without a doubt that our last words to her was "I love you Mom". Although she is gone, in the end, we are a grateful for the years we had together as a family, and for the pictures and the memories that will never fade. Elizabeth, Shane and Sharla want to say thanks to everyone for all your support and kind words, and for everyone coming today. It just goes to show that she touched the hearts of many. And whether you have seen her in recent years, or years gone by, we will all hold fond memories of her in our hearts for the years to come. As the seasons change, we will remember her in every leaf that blows, every snowflake that falls, in the pitter patter of rain, and in every flower that blooms .... for love will never pass away and does not come to an end. Brook - Remind everyone to sign the memory book that Sharla has put together and we welcome you to write a note or a fond memory you have of Barb.