Contributions to the tribute of Pauline Behnke

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Monday, April 13, 2015

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Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Pauline Behnke Tribute St. Anthony Church Lloydminster, Alberta February 21, 2013 Father Rajappa Savariappan, Eddie, Brothers, Sisters, Nephews, Nieces, Relatives and Friends, In the name of my brothers and sisters, we wish to extend to you, Eddie, our sincere sympathy in your loss today. You have been an exemplar partner and husband to Pauline. You were there for her in sickness and in health and you generously accompanied her to all of her medical appointments. You were for her, a great joy and delight, the apple - the twinkle - in her eye. We wish to express our appreciation for your devotion and dedication to Pauline. I also want to thank you, my brothers and sisters, for having been there for Pauline and for mom too, particularly during their time of need. I appreciate how you support each other even though I cannot do the same being so far away. Thanks for that, I feel reassured and comforted knowing that you are there to take care of each other. Pauline is the first girl that I knew. We began school together. We did our first communion together. We played together and we worked together. Over the years, we developed a close brother-sister relationship. From our relationship I learned how to be a brother, how to relate to girls, to respect girls. I also learned that girls' feelings can be hurt; that girls, as boys, have things that they want to do in life. She was a gentle soul; a kind sister from whom I learned the basic things about relationships. Pauline's life was always an uphill struggle. It began when she first went to school. She had to learn English as she only knew German. With the help of Evelyn Groehlke, the grade 1 teacher, she was able to master English to get through her elementary school. At the age sixteen and in grade 8, she stopped school to help mom with the domestic tasks. She was happy to be at home and to help out. But Pauline also wanted to learn more, she took adult education classes and around the age of 50, she passed, with great pride and satisfaction, into grade 12 (Pauline's letter, January, 1985). At home, when not scrubbing floors and washing dishes, she was standing by the stove cooking. She loved cooking and was good at it. She made mouth watering scrambled pancakes, matrimonial cake that was more dates than crumbs, cinnamon buns that were moist and juicy, and fried fish that was the favorite of the family. She clipped recipes from the Western Producer and the Free Press and collected them. Pauline also took pleasure in crocheting, knitting, sewing, crafts, and embroidery. She did fancy embroidery of tea towels and pillow slips. She loved these simple things in life. Pauline did not ask much from life, she accepted what came her way and made the best of it. When she reached early teen years, we took on more responsibility. She was the eldest girl and I was the eldest boy; we became like parents to our siblings when dad and mom left to visit relatives. We were the cooks - perhaps not to everyone's pleasure as we made the same meal over and over and they got tired of it. Pauline was a very good baby sitter; she was thoughtful and considerate of the younger ones; she is not known to have been angry; I don't recall any fights or arguments. She did not criticize others or judge others. She was fair to all - a lesson that she learned from her own mother. When the children began to grow up and more help became available to mom, Pauline began to work outside of the home. Her first job, at the age of 21, was working at Macklin hospital where she worked from 1953 to 1957. Here she worked in what we would call today as Personal Support Worker. For the next five years she did not work for health reasons (1957-1962). Her next work, from 1963-1965, was at St. Thomas College where she worked in the kitchen with the nuns who prepared the meals for staff and students. Working in the kitchen was very much to her liking. Pauline was very generous as she kept little of the money she earned for herself and gave the rest to the family. Pauline began to have medical problems at the age of 15 when she got rheumatic fever. She had a relapse when she was about 20 years old. From that day forward she struggled with health issues. Later she contacted TB and was placed in a body cast. At the age of 50 (see letter, April 24, 1984) Pauline was diagnosed with a slow growing bone cancer in the mouth for which she had corrective surgery and a plate installed (Letter, July 23, 1984). She was scared and felt that the whole world was falling down on her. Pauline was very reluctant telling others about her medical conditions. She was a private person and did not want to cause others to worry. In a letter to myself (April 24, 1984) she said that "I learned to accept suffering as I have had my share of it". She did not want to share her suffering with mom, for example, because she felt that mom had her share of suffering. Through all of this, Eddie was constantly by her side to support to her to the very end of her life. One of Pauline's greatest joys was meeting Eddie in 1963 and being married on August 10, 1965. She moved to the farm to make a home for herself and Eddie. Farm life is something that she knew well and took great pleasure in. She spent hours in her large vegetable and flower garden. She loved the outdoors and helped Eddie where she could such as painting the farm buildings. Pauline developed a close relationship with Eddie's mother who she considered to be a wonderful person and like a second mother (Letter, Pauline, January, 1985). She embraced Eddie's brothers and sisters as her own. One of Pauline's great delights was receiving visitors and serving them lunch or dinner. When she received visitors, she was the perfect hostess. She spent hours preparing the food, and served the meals on her best china. Pauline was a gracious, thoughtful and considerate hostess. Because of her health issues, Pauline was not often able to attend family functions and when she did she was always appreciative of the welcome she received. She felt honored in having conversations, even if short, with her brothers and sisters, and nieces and nephews. She enjoyed the company of family and was most gracious in expressing her appreciation. An even though she could not be with us as often as she liked, her thoughts were not far away. In a letter to myself she wrote that "even though we are separated by a few hundred miles - perhaps thousand miles is more accurate - you will always be my big brother" (Pauline's letter, August, 1981). Such was her thoughtfulness and dedication to family. Pauline loved to help others and do things for others. All of us have fond memories of Pauline preparing flowers for her sister, Annabelle's wedding. She spent hours, days, shaping crepe paper into beautiful roses and flowers of all colors and shapes. For Micheline and my wedding she made beautiful silk flowers which she sent to us. Pauline was a person of great faith. Although she endured much in life and experienced the loss of close ones including her sister Annabelle, her mom and dad, aunt Madeleine and Uncle Alex, and her mother-in-law, to name a few, Pauline carried her burdens - her cross - with great courage. She bore her illness and losses with patience and acceptance. Pauline liked the simple things in life. Pauline did not ask much from life. She took what was given to her and she appreciated it. What is Pauline's legacy to the family? Pauline was a trusted sister and aunt. She was a caring and kind friend, wife and woman. She did not speak about caring, love, patience, and kindness, she lived them. Pauline was there equally for all. She had no favorites in the family, all of them were her favorites. She was one to maintain peace, and harmony even if it meant that she had to give up something of her own. If Pauline were standing in my place today, she would ask us to enjoy the simple things in life, to accept what is given to us, to get along with each other and to care and love each other. She would also ask us to accept the burdens that we have been asked to carry in the same way that she carried hers - with great faith and courage. Pauline, we love you, and we are happy to know that you are now in the company of mom and dad, you are now with Annabelle and Stephen and with your grandparents and uncles and aunts. You will always be in our memory and we will think of you and pray for you and remember the good times that we spent together. We are better people for having met you. Thank you for being you. God Bless you! Rest in peace!

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BennyandPaulette Garrecht posted a condolence

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

To the Meier Family, We want to express our sympathies to you all on the passing of your sister. We know she will be greatly missed by all. Our thoughts and prayers are with you all at this difficult time.

Pauline Behnke

1932 - 2013

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